Woman creative puts her foot down and refuses to attend her boyfriend's family events after he fails to defend her against their harsh criticisms regarding her line of work: ‘I was hurt and felt completely blindsided’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jun 13, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

When your partner can't defend you from the harsh, unwarranted criticisms their family provides, what do you do? Do you decide to forget about the way your partner couldn't show up for you? Or, simply think about how they left you to wonder if their family likes you to begin with? Everyone has something to bring to the plate in this world—not everyone wants a conventional career, and that desire does not lessen the intellect or abilities of another. If you're in a relationship where they can't appreciate you for who you are and defend you when their family tries to get you down, you're in the wrong relationship. 

In this next story, a woman is at her boyfriend's family gathering when his family begins to ridicule her creative career. The woman explains that she is in an unconventional career and enjoys the creative outlet it provides for her. Her boyfriend refuses to defend her against their cruel jokes, so she tells him she won't be attending family events if they cannot apologize or defend her moving forward. Scroll below to read the entire story.

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    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITA for refusing to attend my boyfriend’s family events because he didn’t stand up for me?"

    I (25F) have been dating my boyfriend (27M) for about two years now. Overall, we have a good relationship, but recently
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  • something happened that's made me seriously question things. Last weekend, we went to a family gathering that's very
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  • important to him it's basically a big annual event his whole family attends. I wanted to make a good impression and show my support
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  • by coming along. But once we arrived, his sister started making ride comments about me. She made snide remarks about my job
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  • (which is in a creative field and not the traditional 9-5), saying it's "not a real career," and also questioned my lifestyle choices,
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  • implying I'm immature and not serious enough. I was hurt and felt completely blindsided. I looked to my boyfriend for
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  • support or at least for him to address it, but instead, he just stayed silent. In fact, there were moments when he even laughed
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  • along with his sister's jokes. It felt like he was siding with them rather than standing by me. After the event, I told him I was
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  • disappointed and hurt that he didn't have my back. I explained that it's important to me that he defends me in front of his family
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  • and not let me be disrespected like that. But he brushed it off and said I was overreacting and that I should be able to handle his
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  • family on my own since I'm an adult. Now, I've told him I'm not willing to attend future family gatherings unless he commits to
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  • standing up for me. He's angry and says I'm causing drama and making things worse between him and his family. He thinks I
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  • should just ignore the comments and not make a fuss. Honestly, I feel like a relationship means supporting each other, especially in tough situations like this. But he feels like I'm being too sensitive. So, AITA ?
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    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • GreekAmericanDom NTA He has shown you exactly what you can expect from him and his family in the future. It is time to stop all interactions with everyone of his blod, including him.
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  • TerrificVixen5693 Some partner he is. /s Find somebody who likes you.
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  • Bulky_Bookkeeper8556 Ask yourself if you can see a future with someone who doesn't stand up for you? Can that person truly love you? NTA. Oh, and leave him.
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  • NectarineAny4897 He, and his family, showed you who they are.
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  • Greatgraciousness NTA. You absolutely shouldn't just shrug off being disrespected, especially by someone with no real investment in you. You asked your boyfriend for one reasonable boundary: to stand up for you in front of his family. Instead, he stayed silent, even laughed. That's not tolerance; it's betrayal.
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  • It doesn't matter that you're "an adult capable of handling it." A relationship isn't a solo act; it's a partnership. If he can't even defend your dignity once, what happens when real issues arise? You're right to refuse future gatherings unless he shows you actual support, not weak dismissal.
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  • He can choose to side with his sister, but don't let anyone gaslight you with "stop causing drama." That's just code for "I can't be bothered to have your back." You're not being dramatic; you're protecting your self-respect.
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Dating-Relationships relationship advice family drama aita relationship Female Empowerment work relationship-drama reddit story family feud relationships creativity in the workplace reddit thread Reddit toxic relationship
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